saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize