haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize