i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
