i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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