we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
