what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
