brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She made me pour olive oil on her.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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