saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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