So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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