Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
