I heard we made out
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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