What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
