watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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