is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
