is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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