I bet he comes in French.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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