she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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