My nipple is on Facebook.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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