Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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