Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
