it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
