Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
