they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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