never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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