just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
