He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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