Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
