I'm gonna have a badass scar
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
