The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
