Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
