If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
