literally had 100 drinks last night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
