I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
