i think i have herpe
just one?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
