Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize