somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
