would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
