hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
