btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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