We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
