I hate all girls vehemently.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
