Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
