If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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