I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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