I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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