don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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