.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
