We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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