so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
