dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
