if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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