D3 body, D1 cock
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
