i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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