Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
