I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
