I'm lost and stupid without you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
